NFL
By: Jeffery Newholm
What is a “sentence enhancer?”
In a humorous episode of SpongeBob, Patrick introduces one of these novel words into the title sponge’s vocabulary.
Oops! Turns out the unnamed word is not so nice. An experienced fan can receive forgiveness, then, for being skeptical when Ion announcer Shimmy Miller complimented the Sky’s building “culture.”
Do not run out of those Krusty Krab doors just yet though! Considering the poise Chicago displayed in an 89-62 teardown Saturday of an underwomened Brazil National Team, the Sky’s opponents may soon be the ones using four letter words.
Wanting to be There
Any parent knows the feeling. A grammar school play that goes on just an act too long, or a youth soccer game that one’s child seems already checked out of.
“Just praying for that whistle to sound!”
Thankfully, emboldened new head coach Tyler Marsh leads a 2025 Sky roster that (finally!) projects pride to be present in the Windy City. Marsh replaces Teresa Weatherspoon, who impressed immensely in her 2024 opening press conference but could not deliver a playoff berth.
Equally important to Chicago’s budding basketball spring, the Sky GOAT, Courtney Vandersloot, returns after a two-year detour in New York. And “Slooty” is more than a mere spectator-mentor. Vandersloot hooped just 15 minutes in the Saturday matinee but projected a refreshingly welcome athletic poise Chicago missed during her absence.
Angel Reese returns for her second major league season. Reese set the WNBA record for consecutive double-doubles with an impressive 15 in just her rookie year. Wintrust Arena, the Sky’s already-buzzing home since 2018, faced new problems in 2024with Reese aboard.
Long lines. Packed concourses. Higher prices. Sounds right in Amer-wait. Those three thorns are, truthfully, trifling nuisances rightfully taken by fans happy to see a trending team.
There were just 27 itty-bitty genuine problems: losses by a team lacking success on the court. Enter Chicago’s impressive draft class.
Just in Time
Chicago was not eligible for the 2025 draft lottery due to an untimely pick swap with Dallas.
A successful environment focused on bringing another championship to Chicago will not condone the excuse of an earlier trade misfortune. The Sky made a brilliant draft-and-stash with the tenth overall pick: Slovenian hooper Ajša Sivka(pronounced royally as “ice-shah”). Sivka may not play in America this season due to European basketball commitments. However, that gives her that much more time to develop before freezing opponents next year.
More exciting for fans in Baton Rouge on Saturday was Chicago’s next pick: former LSU Tiger Hailey Van Lith. Thepro-Sky crowd of 6,373 rose enthusiastically as Van Lith entered. She played with exceptional focus in what was an otherwise sleepy second half (because Chicago was so far ahead!)
The nimble point guard will learn from Slooty as an understudy.Granted Van Lith’s quick ascent into a success-zone, her eye’s twinkles may soon expand into red giants.
Four-Letter Acronym
Alas, SpongeBob and Patrick had to learn the hard way about inappropriate workplace vernacular.
As for the Sky’s culture? Miller proved to have the voice of a prophet, not a sailor. With the top eight teams still making the WNBA playoffs, and all postseason teams now guaranteed a home game, Marsh, Vandersloot, and Reese can and mustquickly pivot towards games that count.
True, Nickelodeon never revealed what word devastated Bikini Bottom that day. However, a rising sports league known by four letters conveys more meaning than any obscenity.
Which league runs the summer athletic world?
Which company adds three associates across the Americas in just two years?
And which four characters will precede “champions” on Wintrust ribbon boards on a day that seemed eons away, but approaches remarkably quickly with Vandersloot’s proud return?
WNBA.
