NFL
By: Matt Overton
Nintendo may be the winner of the Console Wars, but Sega is maintaining a healthy theatrical superiority.
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie piqued my interest upon its announcement. Even with my lukewarm reception of the initial Illumination + Nintendo collaboration, Super Mario Galaxy is one of the best Mario games. It’s one of the best platformers in general. So, the idea of taking this sequel to the furthest reaches was a promising premise. However, having learned all the wrong lessons from the first outing, this sequel is nothing more than a random assortment of fan service loosely strung together without rhyme or reason.
The film opens directly after the first, with Mario and Luigi being established as heroes. Their “plumbing” services in high demand. Peach is enjoying peace in the Mushroom Kingdom, but before ya know it, another princess is kidnapped! Introducing Rosalina, brought to life by Brie Larson, who is taken away from her precious Luma by Bowser Jr. If there ever was a questionable casting decision, look no further than Benny Safdie voicing this antagonist. I tried to stop. Still, all I could imagine was Benny in the booth delivering his cartoonish villain voice.
As an adaptation of a Mario game, having the plot center on a kidnapped princess is fine. Even if it is repeated from the last film. That is the story in almost every single Mario game for the last 40 years. So, the repetitiveness is not that bothersome. It is everything in between that makes zero sense. Nintendo fully expects audiences to spend 98 minutes pointing and whistling at the screen as it brings every recognizable character, moment, and song into the fold. Some of the most jarring jump cuts, scenes begin/end in the most abrupt fashion. The lack of a coherent story amounts to pure content slop. Similar to A Minecraft Movie, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is the latest release in the lowest-common-denominator filmmaking arena.
There are plenty of fresh faces that you’d think would elevate this sequel to some kind of new ground. However, even Yoshi, Rosalina, Bowser Jr., or Fox McCloud fail to leave any meaningful impressions. Why Marketing decided to drop a spoilery character post less than a week from release is mind-boggling. Had Fox had a genuine reveal in the film, then I might have enjoyed this that much more. But with failings at every turn, this movie is a complete waste. Even the gorgeous animation couldn’t save the day. This was a genuine chore to sit through.
It is truly a shame, especially as the easy-to-identify Nintendo-fanboy amongst the friend group, that Illumination + Nintendo are okay with putting out such blatant slop. As with a lot of newer animated “kids” movies, I feel terrible for the newer generations because what do you mean this is what they get to grow up with? This is really the best we could do with over $100 million? I sensed a somewhat whelmed reaction from the audience, and some excited chatter afterwards about “how many references I noticed!” Is this what we’ve come to? Standards have dropped precipitously, or maybe I’m just more aware of how low the bar has dropped.
