The Los Angeles Clippers are…

By: Rob Botts

Ok, Hoop Heads, with the recent timely and sly trade move before the NBA trading deadline, your Los Angeles Clippers once again shoved the Lake Show off the center of the trading stage. 

With this in mind…

THE CLIPPERS ARE….

…that knockout right cross that you know you need to avoid like the plague that is coming after being peppered with quite a few tenderizing left jabs. 

…NOT your dad’s Los Angeles Clippers anymore. 

…Clubber Lang in “Rocky 3” – hungry, doing pull-ups and is going to tell everyone they are “deeeeeeaaaad meat!”

…that rather large chip that resides on one’s shoulder that gets you up in the morning dreaming of a parade in downtown LA.

…no longer looking back and feeling their championship window closed with the departures of Chris Paul and Blake Griffin…In fact, ALL windows in the house are now wide open with one hell of a championship breeze about to blow through.(most NBA meteorologists predict is)

…about to render the Los Angeles Lakers “the OTHER LA team”

…the younger brother who went away to summer camp and came back 4 inches taller, added 10 lbs of muscle and is ready to have a little chin wag about the yearly beatdowns handed out by the older brother. 

…the great white shark who is barreling towards the surface at warp speed about to snatch a seal out of the water on his way to give a smile and wink to the Shark Week camera crew. 

…the satisfying smirk that slowly grows across the face of the Joker as he has good old “Batsy” right where he wants him. 

…the ending of the movie where the bad guys get blown up, the people are saved and our hero’s lip-locks with his one true love – ROLL CREDITS.

…that DOG that we all know that they are!

…a team where “they are what we thought they were” – And they’re not letting anybody off the hook!!”

…a team so good, that Doc Rivers will loudly pronounce to the refs and anyone that will listen in “Hoosiers” Gene Hackman style: “My team is on the floor.”

…now a team that has the cities of Buffalo and San Diego wishing they could have them back as they share a beer and a cry. “Can you guys pass the pretzels?” asks Seattle SuperSonic fan. 

…showing Spurs coach Gregg Popovich, the father of the modern-day load managing movement, how to REALLY do it. 

…the unmovable object that gives the unstoppable force sleepless nights!

…are what Clark Kent turns into once he exits the phone booth. 

…are THE only CLEAN ENERGY NBA team that runs on WIND power generated from the frenetic, Cobra Kai like movements of owner Steve Ballmer’s chicken wing fist pumps. 

…where their best player(Mr. Kawhi Leonard) cannot be reasoned with..cannot be bargained with and absolutely will not stop until every other NBA team has been defeated.

…are now a team where Patrick Beverley does one hell of a Ray Allen impersonation!

…a team that now has Marcus Morris – a grizzled, clutch shooting, hard-nosed defender ready to take this team to the NBA promised land.